Time for more Bible quotes to help you be a better Christian!

John 15:6: "If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned."
--This passage was used to justify burning heretics and witches. Good thing we have a separation of church and state, otherwise they would still probably use this.

Genesis 38:8-10: Then Judah said to Onan, "Go in to your brother's wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother." Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother's wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.
--Every sperm is sacred. Pulling out and shooting it on her tits could incite the wrath of God.

Ezekiel 4:15: Then He said to me, "See, I will give you cow's dung in place of human dung over which you will prepare your bread."
--Ah yes, thank you God. Cow feces is much preferable over human feces for cooking.

Isaiah 36:12: "Has my master sent me only to your master and to you to speak these words, and not to the men who sit on the wall, doomed to eat their own dung and drink their own urine with you?"
--Ack, enough with people eating shit already.

Jeremiah 16:4: "They will die of deadly diseases, they will not be lamented or buried; they will be as dung on the surface of the ground and come to an end by sword and famine, and their carcasses will become food for the birds of the sky and for the beasts of the earth."
--God should really attend an anger management class. If he created people, and those people are pissing him off, isn't he really just pissing himself off? Take some responsibility for your actions and stop blaming the imperfects!

Luke 14:26: "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."
--A quote from Jesus about the importance of family.

Romans 13:1: Every person is to be in subjection to the governing authorities For there is no authority except from God, and those which exist are established by God.
--Hate your evil dictator or crooked president? God put him there! Follow him without question!

Missed the first installment of Bible Quotes? Click here.